here's to the men that we love
here's to the men that love us
but the men that we love aren't the ones that love us
so fuck the men, let's drink to us!
-Karen

Here's to the girl in the little red shoes,
She drinks my whiskey, she drinks my booze.
She's got no cherry,
But that's no sin,
She still has the box the cherry came in.

When God made man,
he made him out of string.
He had a little left, so he left a little thing.
When God made woman,
he made her out of lace,
he fell a little short so he left a little space.
... Here's to God.

Here's to man--he is like a coal-oil lamp; he is not especially bright; he is often turned down; he generally smokes; and he frequently goes out at night.

Here's to you, Mister
Whoever you may be.
For you're just the man of the evening,
And nothing more to me.

I'll drink to the gentleman who I think
Is most entitled to it;
For if anyone ever can drive me to drink
He certainly can do it.

Man is somewhat like a sausage,
Very smooth upon the skin;
But you can never tell exactly
How much hog there is within.

Man is the only animal that laughs, drinks when he is not thirsty, and makes love at all seasons of the year.

One must not become attached to animals: they don't last long enough. Or to men: they last too long.

To the men I've loved
To the men I've kissed
My heartfelt apologies
To the men I've missed.

Women's faults are many,
Men have only two--
Everything they say,
And everything they do.

Here's to God's first thought, "Man!"
Here's to God's second thought, "Woman!"
Second thoughts are always best.